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Baby Houseman was standing in the gazebo with her parents, who were waiting for a slow dance. Baby herself was waiting for Neil Kellerman to come and dance with her. Neil came, talked briefly with Johnny Castle, and then invited Baby to go for a walk. Although she wanted to dance with him, she compliantly went on a walk with him.
Neil led Baby away from the gazebo, but not far enough that the gazebo was out of their sight.
Neil began to compliment Baby's beauty. He said: I love to watch your hail blowing in the breeze.
As the boyfriend in the relationship, he is doing what he is supposed to do -- he is trying to escalate the relationship sexually. He is communicating that her beauty captivates him and that she has an opportunity to encourage him.
As the girlfriend, she is supposed to escalate the relationship emotionally. Some good options would be:
* Smile silently toward him, encouraging him to compliment her further.Instead, though, she wonders aloud whether her parents might be looking for her -- even though her parents saw her walk away with Neil and even though she is in sight of the gazebo.
* Thank him for the compliment, encouraging him to compliment her further.
* Remark that she too is enjoying the pleasant breeze, engaging in his remark.
* Thank him for bringing her to this nice place, away from her parents.
* Remark that she still is looking forward to dancing with him after their walk.
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The conversation develops as follows.
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| Neil complimenting Baby's beauty. Baby wondering if her parents might be looking for her. Her parents are in the gazebo in the background. |
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Neil Kellerman
I love to watch your hair blowing in the breeze.
Baby Houseman
Maybe my parents are looking for me.
Neil Kellerman
Baby, don't worry. If they think you're with me, they'll be the happiest parents at Kellerman's. I have to say it: I'm known as the catch of the county.
Baby Houseman
I'm sure you are.
Neil Kellerman
Last week I took a girl away from Jamie, the lifeguard. And he said to her, right in front of me: "What does he have that I don't have?" And she said, "Two hotels."
People who sell professionally would use the term objection to characterize Baby's remark that her parents might be looking for her. Baby is objecting to Neil's sexual escalation by giving him a bogus excuse that she feels preoccupied by her concern about her parents.
The professional seller responds to a prospect's expressed false objection by probing to discover the prospect's hidden true objection.
Neil, however, responds to Baby's objection by remarking:
Don't worry. If they think you're with me, they'll be the happiest parents at Kellerman's.Neil should learn from professional sellers. He should not have dismissed Baby's objection. Rather, he should have used her objection as an opportunity to probe her hidden true thoughts. For example, he might have responded to Baby with one of these options:
Why do you think your parents might be looking for you?Neil should subtly challenge Baby to explain her objection. Because he fails to do so, he -- and the movie audience -- can only guess what she really is thinking.
When we left the gazebo, your parents looked like they were having fun dancing.
I can see your parents in the gazebo. Should I call to them from here?
I see your parents in the gazebo. Let's go there and dance.
Do you need to go talk to your parents right now, or can we stay here a while longer?
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One possibility is that Baby worries that her parents might look for her sister Lisa. Her parents know -- and can even see -- that Baby is standing just a short distance away with Neil
However, Lisa has confided to Baby that she is going to meet intimately with Robbie Gouldman at the golf course, and Lisa has asked Baby to lie to their parents about her whereabouts.
Baby might feel obligated to remain in her parents' presence in case they do wonder aloud about Lisa's whereabouts.
Another possibility is that Baby has decided that she wants to break up with Neil if he does want to escalate their relationship sexually. She is happy to hang out and dance with him, but she does not want to deal with his romantic advances.
Another possibility is that she wants to go dance in the gazebo, and if Neil does not want to do so, then maybe she will be able to dance there with Johnny.
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Neil's boast that he is "a catch" presumes mistakenly that Baby is thinking along those lines.
When Baby responds I'm sure you are, she might be somewhat sarcastic, but she also is somewhat sincere. Neil indeed would be "a catch" for many young women. Baby's hidden true objection, however, is not that she thinks Neil might not be "a catch".
Because of his wrong-headed salesmanship, Neil loses the sale with Baby. He wants to escalate his relationship sexually with Baby. She voices an objection, and he fails to guide her into clarifying her objection. Instead, he presumes mistakenly to clarify her objection for her.
Baby did not want to state her hidden, true objection frankly to Neil. He had the opportunity, though, to subtly challenge her stated objection and to discover and to address her still secret objections.
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I will continue this series in Part 6.
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