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This series of articles analyzes the following dialogue.
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| Neil trying to make something romantic happen by complimenting Baby's beautifully blowing hair |
They have come to this rather remote place from the gazebo, which is seen in the background. Baby had been standing there with her parents, who were waiting for a slow waltz to play. Neil walked into the gazebo and eventually said to her: Come on, Doll. Let's take a walk.
Neil Kellerman
I love to watch your hair blowing in the breeze.
Baby Houseman
Maybe my parents are looking for me.
Neil Kellerman
Baby, don't worry. If they think you're with me, they'll be the happiest parents at Kellerman's. I have to say it: I'm known as the catch of the county.
Baby Houseman
I'm sure you are.
Neil Kellerman
Last week I took a girl away from Jamie, the lifeguard. And he said to her, right in front of me: "What does he have that I don't have?" And she said, "Two hotels."
So, now they have come to this place, where he is complementing her beautifully blowing hair.
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Neil is trying to escalate their boyfriend-girlfriend relationship sexually. He has isolated her physically by leading her away from the people-crowded gazebo to this rather isolated place. He is communicating to her that he is captivated by her physical beauty -- he loves to watch her hair blowing in the breeze.
As the boyfriend, Neil is supposed to escalate their relationship sexually. As the girlfriend, Baby is supposed to escalate their relationship emotionally.
In a previous article titled Lisa Houseman and "Hooking Up Smart", I quoted relationship expert Susan Walsh's advice to women:
It is a man’s job to sexually escalate with a woman he is attracted to. As women control access to sex, he risks rejection in his quest to get it. Indeed, if women are appropriately discerning in their choice of sexual partner, most men will be rejected most of the time. ...Walsh writes that a woman can escalate a relationship emotionally by means of the following behavior:
Many women feel entitled to audition would-be lovers very selectively. If they experience a lack of attention – no guy shows up to audition – they blame men. If a guy does show up but decides not to stick around, he’s a douche. That’s not reasonable. ...
The problem with this sense of entitlement is that it creates total passivity on the girl’s part. You don’t have very good control of your dating life if you are always waiting for a call or hoping the perfect guy is going to see you from across the room ...
Usually this dilemma is addressed by encouraging women to make the first move or ask a guy out. In other words, we encourage the female to usurp the male role in hopes of nudging the process along. ... There are limitations to this approach, which runs counter to the natural order of things.
A much better approach is for the woman to do her job, which is to escalate emotionally. Women want emotional intimacy during sex, but they have sex before creating a foundation of emotional connection. Doing that work is your job, not his. If you hope for commitment, it makes no sense to leave it to chance, dreaming that a guy will fall for you based on your looks alone, or because you’re good in bed. A man will offer commitment when he is sufficiently emotionally invested to make the trade-off to forfeit sexual variety. Women are the ones who have the power to create that investment.
1. Focus 100% of your sexual attraction on him.So, Neil has isolated Baby into a remote location and has begun to tell her that he is captivated by her beautifully blowing hair. He is escalating their relationship sexually, which is what he as the boyfriend is supposed to do.
2. Be consistently curious and interested to learn more about him.
3. Ask for his advice, support or help.
4. Be generous and appreciative.
5. Share a lust for life.
6. Let him know how much you like him, and how sexually attracted you are to him.
In response, Baby seems to be bored and indifferent and worries aloud that her parents might be looking for her. She is not appreciating him. She is not communicating any sexual attraction toward him.
Instead, Baby wants to go back to the gazebo, where Neil's seduction will be observed by her parents and others. Furthermore, in the gazebo she might be able to dance with Johnny Castle.
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This series will continue in Part 5.
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