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In the first part of Dirty Dancing, the relationship between Baby Houseman and Neil Kellerman is friendly, even affectionate.
In the movie's last part, Neil becomes a rather negative character. Therefore, people who have watched the entire movie develop a false memory that he was a negative character in the first part too. People persist in this mistake even as they watch the movie many times.
Early in the movie, Baby and Neil dance and chat together in the ballroom. A couple days ago, I re-watched that scene three times, looking for indications that Baby felt uncomfortable with Neil. I was surprised to find that she obviously is enjoying her time with him in the ballroom. This realization has caused me to reconsider Baby's and Neil's relationship.
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Now I recognize that Baby was using Neil as her practice boyfriend, also known as a starter boyfriend, without his knowing his status.
The website Girls Ask Guys includes a webpage titled I'm thinking of looking for a "practice boyfriend." Is this a bad idea?, where an anonymous girl's questions defines the term:
... I have social anxiety and act really awkward around guys. I want to become desensitized to them. In addition I'd like to have some experience just to say I have it so this idea will kill two birds with one stone.
So basically what I would require from the guy who agrees to this is:
* He helps me practice kissing
* He touches me a bit so I can be comfortable with guys and also gain some experience
* He messes around with me a bit without going all the way. Possibly I might change my mind and let him go all the way anyway. I want the experience and to be desensitized to guys.
* He's clean.
I don't care if he sees other girls on the side. This is all just practice for me. I understand how insane this sounds but I'm getting pretty desperate and tired of feeling the way I do around guys.
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| This book is not associated with the "Girls Ask Boys" website |
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The website Yahoo! Answers includes a webpage titled Should I get a starter boyfriend?, where the question is asked and answered as follows:
Question: I am 22 and I never been on a date. I never kissed, held hands, etc. I don't want to be in a serious relationship right now. I enjoy being single because one day I'll get married, have kids and that's it. I am pretty (not meant to sound conceited) so I do get "offers". ... I do want to hang out with a guy and gain experience (not sexual) because I feel when I do meet a man I really like I should know something about relationships. So, should I get a starter boyfriend?
Answer: .... Find a guy you like, even if you're not nuts over him, but someone you like enough to date and would enjoy being with for more than the "dating points" and go out with him.....but make it clear right away that you just want a casual relationship with no strings attached. If he's cool with that -- and some people are -- then proceed, but if you sense he is getting too attached, it might be a good idea to distance yourself at that point till things cool down. Also, if you really want a "casual" relationship, keep in mind that if it lasts for a long time, the more likely he is to get feelings for you that aren't casual.
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| This book is not associated with the "Yahoo! Answers" website. |
A young woman with a practice boyfriend can experiment in her responses to the various male remarks, compliments, suggestions, requests, teasing jokes and physical advances that she will experience later with men in real relationships. For a young woman, interacting with a practice boyfriend is lots of fun.
A good analogy is how boys love ground-ball drills in baseball. Boys have endless fun practicing their responses to ground balls that bounce to them in various, often expected ways.
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After their ballroom scene, the next scene that involves Baby and Neil is when she encounters Billy Kostecki with the watermelons. Although Neil does not appear in this scene, he is mentioned by Billy. Before I remind you what Billy mentions, however, I will recount the circumstances.
Baby and Neil had danced in the ballroom on the first night of the Houseman family's stay at Kellerman's Mountain House. The specific date was Saturday, August 10, 1963.
Baby's watermelon encounter with Billy happens eight days later, on the night of Sunday, August 18. On that night, Baby is in a good mood and is strolling alone through a woods. She is wearing the same party dress that she had worn while dancing with Neil on the evening of Saturday, August 10.
As Baby is strolling, she happens to see (in a deleted scene) Johnny Castle, amid some trees, embracing a female guest. Johnny and the woman part, and Johnny runs ahead in the same direction that Baby had been walking. Baby continues walking in the same direction, behind Johnny (thus ends the deleted scene).
Baby sees Johnny, far ahead of her, going up an outside stairs to a second-floor room, where a party seems to be taking place. She sees a large sign that says Staff Quarters -- No Guests Please, but she walks past the prohibiting sign. Apparently she intends to follow Johnny up the stairs toward the party, in order to observe him there.
At this moment, Baby encounters Billy, who is walking toward the stairs and carrying three watermelons. Then follows this dialogue:
Baby HousemanOf course, the movie audience understands that the "little boss-man" is Neil Kellerman. Several nuances in this conversation, however, need to be pointed out and explained.
Hi.
Billy Kostecki
How'd you get here?
Baby Houseman
I was taking a walk.
Billy Kostecki
Go back.
Baby Houseman
(Grabbing one of the three watermelons)
Let me help you. What's up there?
Billy Kostecki
No guests allowed. House rules. Why don't you go back to the playhouse?
I saw you dancing with little boss-man.
(Insulted, Baby gives her watermelon back to Billy and starts to walk away.)
(Billy relents to take Baby along and so calls her to come back.)
Can you keep a secret? Your parents would kill you. Max would kill me.
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Many in the movie audience think that this watermelon encounter happens later in the same night after Baby and Neil danced in the ballroom. In other words, Baby danced with Neil for a while and then went strolling in the woods and then met Billy and then went to the "dirty dancing" party.
In fact, on her first night at the resort, Baby surely stayed in the ballroom until the orchestra stopped playing, which was no earlier than midnight. Then she went straight to her bedroom and slept through the night. She did not wander around alone in the woods on her first night and then go to an employee party and then go to her bedroom at some time after 2 a.m.
Also, the resort's Saturday night, when a lot of new guests were celebrating their arrivals, was too busy for a the employees to schedule their "dirty dancing" party.
In fact, Baby's watermelon encounter with Billy happens on her eighth day at Kellerman's Mountain House. The Houseman family arrived on Saturday, August 10, and she encountered Billy with the watermelons on Sunday, August 18, 1983.
Through all those eight days, Baby has been stringing Neil along as her practice boyfriend.
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When Baby takes one of the watermelons from Billy as an excuse to go up the stairs to the employees' dance party, he remarks:
Why don't you go back to the playhouse? I saw you dancing with little boss-man.Recently that same evening, Billy saw Baby dancing with Neil in the "playhouse". That place might be the ballroom, but I assume it was the hotel's dance-practice room. There, Neil had been teaching Baby how to dance the mambo, pachanga or some other dances.
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| The playhouse? |
* She had thought that nobody saw her dancing with Neil, her practice boyfriend, in that secluded room -- "the playhouse".======
* She resented Billy's insinuation that she chose Neil as her practice boyfriend mainly because he was a manager -- a "boss-man".
* She was embarrassed that her practice boyfriend was so short -- "little boss-man".
* She did not think that her having a practice boyfriend should disqualify her from following Johnny up the stairs to the party.
Earlier that evening, August 18, Baby had put on her party dress -- the same dress she had worn on August 10 in the ballroom -- and flat shoes. Thus dressed, she met with Neil, and they practiced dancing in "the playhouse". She wore her party dress so that she could watch in the room's mirrors how she looked when she danced. She wore the flat shoes because Neil is so short. When she saw herself and Neil in the mirrors, the appearance of her dress's prettiness was spoiled by her practice boyfriend's shortness.
For some reason, Baby and Neil parted from each other after their dance practice. Because he was her practice boyfriend, she allowed him to give her to embrace her and give her a brief kiss on her lips. Then Neil went off to do some management duty.
Baby is in a good mood. Still wearing her her party dress and flat shoes, she goes on a stroll through the woods. Then she notices Johnny with a female guest amid the trees. He is tall and is wearing his handsome tuxedo. Johnny is fondling and kissing the woman in a manner that she never has permitted to her practice boyfriend to do to her. The sight arouses her, and she decides to follow Johnny as far as she can, just to enjoy watching him some more.
Baby is having some fun on her adventure to watch naughty, tall Johnny. She walks past the prohibiting sign. When she encounters Billy heading toward the stairs, she immediately grabs one of his watermelons as an excuse to follow Johnny further.
Billy enables Baby to follow Johnny's path up the stairs to the "dirty dancing" party in the employees' bunkhouse. There she has great fun.
In the following days, she does not tell her practice boyfriend Neil about her adventure, because she was not supposed to go into the employees' bunkhouse and because he would be upset to learn that she had dirty-danced with tall Johnny.
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The next scene involving Baby and Neil takes place on the evening of Friday, August 23. In the gazebo, some guests are dancing, and Johnny is dancing with Vivian Pressman. Baby is standing morosely between her father and mother and is watching Johnny and Vivian jealously.
Neil comes into the gazebo and asks Johnny why Penny is absent. Johnny says that Penny is taking a break. Neil scolds that Penny better not be taking an all-night break. Then Neil says to Baby:
Come on, Doll. Let's take a walk. I love to watch your hair blowing in the breeze.Since Neil now has been Baby's practice boyfriend for a week, he calls her "Doll", and she goes on a walk with him. They walk far from the gazebo and stand near each other. He fondles her hair, which she allows him to do. As her practice boyfriend, he may fondle her hair and has done so many times.
At this point, however, Baby is considering that she maybe should dump Neil as her practice boyfriend soon. Then there is the following dialogue:
Baby HousemanNeil's bragging about his being a catch and taking a girl away from a lifeguard and owning two hotels is offensive, but he is frustrated. He does not realize that he is only a practice boyfriend, and he has run out of all other methods of moving his relationship with Baby forward. He does not realize that he is merely a practice boyfriend. His stupid bragging is his last resort. He too is considering that he should terminate the relationship.
Maybe my parents are looking for me.
Neil Kellerman
Baby, don't worry. If they think you're with me, they'll be the happiest parents at Kellerman's. I have to say it. I'm known as the catch of the county.
Baby Houseman
I'm sure you are.
Neil Kellerman
Last week I took a girl away from Jamie, the lifeguard, and he said to her, “What does he have that I don't have?", and she said, ""Two hotels.""
Lisa Houseman
(Rushing out of the woods, followed by Robbie)
Robbie. I don't hear an apology.
Robbie Gould
Go back to Mommy and Daddy and listen. Maybe you'll hear one in your dreams.
Neil Kellerman
I'm sorry you had to see that, Baby. Sometimes in this world you see things you don't want to see.
You hungry? Come on.
The considerations of Baby and Neil are interrupted by the appearance and argument of Lisa and Robbie. Seeing that incident depresses both Baby and Neil.
Baby and Neil agree to go to the kitchen to eat a snack. In this relaxed interlude, their conversation might turn to the subject of their breaking up. For Neil, his hope for a more sexual relationship has ended. For Baby, her fun in having Neil as her practice boyfriend has ended.
Baby figures that her two remaining weeks at the resort might provide her the time for a second practice boyfriend. An excellent candidate would be Billy, who is taller and stronger than Neil. She could try her newly learned feminine skills on Billy and maybe go with him to another dirty-dancing party. Plus, Billy is Johnny's cousin, and so she might get a second opportunity to show Johnny that she has become a much better dancer (from Neil) during her week at the resort.
As it turns out, circumstances put her into direct, days-long proximity with Johnny. There, her recent experience with her practice boyfriend gave her the confidence to seduce Johnny.
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Baby decided to use Neil as a practice boyfriend because she is not sure how to be feminine naturally. She wants to see how an interested man talks and acts with her, and she wants to experiment with her responses. For her, this is fun, and she is happy to remain in an elementary flirting stage for a long time.
She strings Neil along slowly. As the week passes, she gradually allows him more freedom to kiss and embrace her. Eventually she even allows him to touch a breast briefly through her clothes during a night's final embrace.
Baby likes Neil as a friend. He has many admirable qualities. After Neil and Johnny argue about the pachanga dance, she advises Johnny to discuss the issue with Neil again. She knows that Neil is a reasonable and accommodating person.
Baby thinks that Neil learned useful lessons about female-male interactions from herself too. She expects that he eventually will become a good husband for some other woman.
In a few weeks, Baby will begin her four years of higher education at an all-women college. When her fellow students talk about their own romantic experiences, she too will have something to say. She will tell how her summer boyfriend Neil said or did this, and she in turn said or did that. In idle moments during the coming years, she will think occasionally about what she learned with Neil about being feminine with men.
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This is the sixth in a series of articles. Part 7.
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