Jennifer Grey's Autobiography -- Part 17

Out of the Corner, by Jennifer Grey

Continued from Part 1,  Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8,  Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, and Part 16

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Chapter 16, titled "Ireland", and Chapter 17, titled The Premiere", tell about events in August 1987. 

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There was a ten-month interval between the end of filming on October 27, 1986, and the movie's premiere on August 21, 1987. During most of those months, Grey felt pessimistic and depressed about her movie. By the beginning of August 1987, however, she perceived indications that the movie might be successful. The movie had been praised by an audience that had watched it a film festival in Cannes, France, in May 1987.

As the premiere approached, Grey told her boyfriend Matthew Broderick that she looked forward to attending the premiere together with him. He responded that he disdained such events and would not go with her. Since he already had appeared in six movies, I assume that he always had refused also to attend the premiers of his own movies (Grey's book does not clarify that point). He refused to make an exception even for Dirty Dancing, the star of which was his own girlfriend. Grey thinks he got this disdain about movie premiers from his mother, Patsy Broderick. (Keep in mind that Matthew's mother recently had exposed the homosexuality of Jennifer's father.)

He said he already had watched the movie in a special screening for the cast and crew, and he never wanted to watch it again, because of the movie's romantic scenes between her and Patrick Swayze.

This situation indicates that Broderick was an unreasonable, inflexible, weird person. In an earlier chapter, she described him as "a twenty-four-year-old who could easily slip into the personal of a cranky old guy when it suited him".

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Matthew's father, James Broderick, was of Irish descent and so had bought a cottage in Kilcar, Ireland, when Matthew was eight years old. Since then, the family vacationed there often. When James Broderick had died in 1982, his ashes were buried there.

In late July 1987, Matthew Broderick insisted that Grey go with him to Kilcar. She did not want to go but felt she had not choice. While there, they argued some more about his refusal to attend her movie's premiere. (I wonder if Broderick intended to keep her in Ireland through that premiere, although Grey does not say so in her book.) 

When we'd get into these circular arguments, the isolation of the remote Irish countryside and being unable to get some distance or call a girlfriend for a reality check seemed to render me more vulnerable to feeling confused, questioning the validity of my point of view.

Was the movie opening as inconsequential as he insisted it was? Or was it possible that my boyfriend was not supportive of my career?

He would've vehemently denied that assumption as preposterous and offensive. And it was impossible for me to fathom that someone who loved me, which he certainly seemed to, wouldn't be my biggest cheerleader.

In the first days of August, his mother called to declare that she had decided to fly to Ireland in a few days to join them in the cottage. Grey resented this impending intrusion and decided that she would fly back to the USA as soon as Patsy arrived in Ireland. Grey did not want to spend any more time with either Broderick.

Furthermore, Jennifer decided she would break up Matthew as soon as he returned to the USA.

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On August 5, Jennifer and Matthew were driving from Kilcar to Dublin (about 160 miles) to meet Patricia at the airport. The plan was that the Brodericks would drive back to Kilcar, and Grey would fly from Dublin to New York.

About 60 miles into the trip, however, Matthew apparently fell asleep at the wheel, drifted into the wrong lane, and crashed head-on into another car. Exactly what happened is unknown. Matthew has no memory of the accident. Jennifer was looking down at some cassette tapes when the accident occurred. The two women in the other car were killed in the collision.

The collision broke one of Broderick's legs horribly, collapsed a lung and caused other injuries. Grey suffered severe whiplash. They were transported to a hospital in Belfast. Grey describes the accident and its aftermath in excruciating detail.

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Grey was able to leave the hospital, but she felt morally obligated to stay in Belfast to keep Broderick company. She thought she should stay there through her movie's premiere.

I had been trying to quit smoking on and off for years. I'd successfully quit for some time before the accident, but after the accident I immediately began chain-smoking, as if I had to make up for all the cigarettes I'd missed.

I was unable to eat. By day, I'd keep Matthew company in his hospital room. In the evenings, or for lunch, I'd cross the street to the Crown Liquor Saloon, Belfast's most famous bar .... I drank and smoked, picked at the pub food.

I started taking Valium before bed t try to get some sleep. One of my first nights in Belfast, I had an extremely vivid nightmare in which I was visited by the Grim Reaper. He looked just like you'd imagine, scythe toting, dressed in a billowing black robe. He was coming for me, and I told him to fuck off. ....

My mother arrived in Belfast a day or two after Patsy, and we all took shifts being with Matthew at the hospital. My mother was wonderful with Matthew.

But when we were alone, I could tell she was concerned about my fervent allegiance to him. She seemed to see then what I see now: that I was struggling to maintain any sense of my life separate from his. Once it became clear that he was coning to be recovering for the next month in the Belfast hospital, my mother was insistent that I return to the States for the premiere.

Broderick's entertainment lawyer flew to Belfast to persuade Grey not to go to the USA -- or at least not to talk to the press in the USA if she did go there. Apparently, Broderick and his lawyer were concerned that Broderick's reputation might be spoiled if she talked to the press about the fatal accident -- which apparently had been caused by Broderick.

In this situation, Grey felt guilty about her recent intention to break up with Broderick. She felt guilty for wanting to attend her movie's premiere. She felt guilty that she might say something to a reporter that might spoil Broderick's reputation. She felt she should fall back in love with him..

I had always been pretty fierce when fighting on behalf of others, but less so for myself. I was designed to be that girl. And what could be more enticing to this personality kink of mine than someone who was injured, who had nearly died. and was facing an uncertain future.

I had no internalized fight for myself. I was punch-drunk and vulnerable, exhausted, and traumatized.

My mom was that coach for me that no one ever was for her. She showed up big-time. She said: "There's nothing more you can do for Matthew at this point. The [Dirty Dancing] producers are flying you back on the Concorde. This is too important. This is about about your career. You have to go. .... I understand this is hard for you, but you need to go. Matthew will be fine. You can come right back, but you cannot miss this."

... He [Matthew] begged me not to go. There were a lot of tears. ....

I cried the whole way to the airport. I cried and smoked all the way across the Atlantic .... I arrived at JFK [Airport in New York] in a fucked-up haze of nicotine, alcohol, and jet lag.

Flying home for the premiere of my first big movie meant only one thing: that I was not a good person.

Grey's emotional distress continued through the premiere. Now she barely remembers any of that event. She felt uncomfortable as she watched the movie, sitting between her parents. At the after-party, she drank champagne out of a bottle and fell asleep in a restaurant chair.

Jennifer Grey asleep at the afterparty of her movie's premiere

On the following day, she flew back to Belfast. In the hospital, she began to read to Broderick a newspaper review that praised her movie. He interrupted her: "I really don't want to hear this." She felt guilty that she seemed to be bragging to him about her movie's success.

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This chapter of the book was captivating from beginning to end. This time of Grey's life should have been happy and exhilarating, but it turned out to be sad and depressing. Just reading this chapter was an intensely emotional experience for me. So far, this has been the book's best part.

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Continued in Part 18.