Miscellaneous Videos - 86

"Last week I took a girl away from Jamie the lifeguard" -- Part 8

This article follows up Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 and Part 7.

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Neil Kellerman has just told Baby Houseman that his wealth attracts other girls. Their conversation is interrupted when they see Lisa Houseman and Robbie Gould rushing by. After the interruption, Baby does not react to Neil's remark. He suggests that they go eat something, and she goes with him compliantly.

Neil tells Baby that last week another girl was attracted to him
because he owns two hotels

Here is the scene's entire dialogue:

Neil Kellerman
I love to watch your hair blowing in the breeze.

Baby Houseman
Maybe my parents are looking for me.

Neil Kellerman
Baby, don't worry. If they think you're with me, they'll be the happiest parents at Kellerman's. I have to say it: I'm known as the catch of the county.

Baby Houseman
I'm sure you are.

Neil Kellerman
Last week I took a girl away from Jamie, the lifeguard. And he said to her, right in front of me: "What does he have that I don't have?" And she said, "Two hotels."

(Lisa Houseman and Robbie Gould rush out of the woods and talk at each other.)

Lisa Houseman
Robbie, I don't hear an apology.

Robbie Gould
Go back to Mommy and Daddy and keep listening. Maybe you'll hear one in your dreams.

Neil Kellerman
I'm sorry you had to see that, Baby. Sometimes in this world, you see things you don't wanna see.

You hungry? Come on.

Baby goes with Neil to the hotel's kitchen. She says nothing more about her parents looking for her.

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When Baby said Maybe my parents are looking for me, Neil thought that Baby was worried that her parents might want to come and take her away from Neil. He assured her that her parents would be happy to know that she was with him. After all, he is a wealthy young man. They would be happy if Baby might marry into such wealth.

Last week, another girl had remarked even that he was "the catch of the county", because he owns two hotels.

Therefore Baby should not worry that Baby's parents might come and take her Baby away from him.

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I am sure that most of the movie audience interprets this dialogue differently than I do. When Baby remarks Maybe my parents are looking for me, she is expressing a reason to leave this isolated location, where she feels uncomfortable being sweet-talked by Neil. She wants to go back to the crowded gazebo -- with or without Neil.

Furthermore, most of the movie audience interprets Neil's remarks about the other girl and his two hotels as a crass assumption that Baby should naturally be attracted to him because of his wealth.

Most of the movie audience assumes that Baby is offended by Neil's insinuation that Baby -- like all young women -- is a gold-digger.

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However, after their conversation is interrupted, Baby goes compliantly with Neil to the hotel's kitchen. She goes with him from one isolated location to another isolated location. She does not go back to the gazebo because her parents might be looking for her. She does not respond to his remarks about the other girl and about his owning two hotels.

Baby does not seem to be offended significantly by Neil's remarks. She likes him, but only as a practice boyfriend. She is having fun interacting with him. When she said Maybe my parents are looking for me, she was teasing him, provoking him to insist that she stay alone with him.

When he responded about the other girl and his two hotels, she was not offended by his insinuation that she might be a gold-digger. Rather, she was amused by his silly male boasting.

When Baby's sister Lisa rushed by, obviously upset by Robbie's actions and words, Baby had an immediate excuse to leave Neil. Baby could have told Neil that she had to go look after her sister. However, Baby preferred to continue spending time with Neil.

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People who teach men techniques for seducing women teach a concept called social proof or preselection. Women are attracted to men who have attracted other women. When Neil remarked that he had taken another girl from a lifeguard, he figured that this feat intrigued Baby rather than made her jealous.

The concept is explained by, for example, a pickup artist who calls himself AlphaX, in an article titled Social proof and why it is catnip to hot girls. His article includes the following illustration and passages.

A pickup artist using the "social proof" technique of seducing women.
He demonstrates to a new girl that other girls are attracted to him

.... A large part of seducing women is Displaying High Value, which is a form of Social Proof. ....

Pre-selection – proving that other women want you; this is the hardest one to fake and one of the most powerful ... attraction switches .... If you are surrounded by hot girls, and a new hot girl sees you, she will be curious. Tease and flirt with her a bit, and the fact you have other women is actually a turn on. It also displays a high level of confidence to flirt with one woman in front of another woman you appear to be with.

Most men I know would actually try to hide the fact they have other girls, or are dating several, or that they even have girls as friends. They believe this is either disrespectful to the girl of their desires, or that it would turn her off, yet in real life, having lots of girls that want to fuck you is the easiest way to fuck the new girl. ...

Willingness to walk way – you WANT her, but you don’t NEED her. Think of it this way, most women experience a man being overly jealous, hanging on, clingy or needy. Even from the first interaction, a woman can feel this needy attitude. For example, most men at a club will see a woman they want to meet, walk over and offer to buy her a drink. If she accepts, they take it as a sign she wants to be with them and simply will not leave. This typically gives a woman the “ick” feeling. It also demonstrates low value.

In a relationship, dating or otherwise, your mental ability to walk away if she doesn’t treat you the way you want is your strongest tool. A girl can feel this. She will test you, and how you demonstrate your ability to walk away will either cause her to get wet and want you, or leave you.

Another interesting feature of being able to walk away is that it demonstrates, to some degree, Pre-Selection. See a man that has many girls that want to fuck him, or if he knows he can easily replace this girl, he doesn’t place too much on the interaction. His attitude displays the high value of a man surrounded by women.

However, Neil perhaps boasted too blatantly about the other girl.

The important aspect of an Alpha’s game is that the High Value traits are real and a part of who you are and in any long term relationship, a fake High Value trait will be felt by the girl. In a cold approach (where you are approaching a random unknown girl) pick-up, it is important to display subtle high value traits in an efficient and effective manner to create attraction within a given time window. If you are too bold in displaying high value, you will be seen as bragging or a show off, which is try hard and not Alpha.

It is important to note that High Value traits are different from boasting or bragging, which are approval seeking behaviors that are actually a demonstration of Low Value. I have been the guy bragging about wealth, and it rarely actually helped me get the girl. A subtle, congruent high value wealth signal would be the car you drive and her seeing you in it, not telling her about it. DHVs work best when they are woven subtly into stories or displayed through action.

In other words, Baby perhaps perceived that Neil's boasting about the other girl made him look desperate rather than attractive.

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I think that Baby's most significant reaction to Neil's remark about the other girl and the hotels was that Neil, who was born rich, was able -- because he was rich -- to take a girl away from Jamie the lifeguard, who was not born rich. During this time in her life, Baby had become obsessed about unfairness.

Although Baby did not react to Neil's remark, the unfairness of that situation bothered her. Although Baby liked Neil, she recognized that his wealthy birth unfairly gave him the ability to take a girl away from a lifeguard.

Later in the story, Baby would recognize also that  and also gave him the ability to boss around Johnny Castle, even on dance issues where Johnny was the expert.

Eventually, these moments at Kellerman's would cause Baby to rebel against her father's political opinions.

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This article concludes this series.

The Coming-of-Age Genre -- Part 8

This series began with Part 1.

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Here I conclude this series.

The Coming-of-Age Genre -- Part 7

This series began with Part 1.

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The Coming-of-Age genre includes the Ugly-Duckling genre. The protagonist matures physically from an homely, awkward child into a beautiful, graceful adult. The physical maturation symbolizes an overall maturation that includes adult self-acceptance and self-confidence.

An immature swan and a mature swan

If you search the Internet for Ugly Duckling examples, you will find many pairings of child-adult photographs that show maturation into adult beauty. Examples are the celebrities Megan Fox and Ryan Seacrest..

Megan Fox as a child and as an adult

Ryan Seacrest as a child and as an adult

In an earlier article, titled Baby's blossoming depicted by clothing and hairstyle, I discussed Baby Houseman's physical transformation during the movie Dirty Dancing. Since the story lasts only three weeks, the transformation had to be demonstrated by her clothing and hairstyle. In general, she begins as boyish and becomes more womanish.

Baby dressed and groomed boyish 

Baby still dressed boyish

Baby becoming womanish

Baby dressing for the movie's final scene

Her Ugly Duckling maturation is displayed also by her improved physical movement. A duckling moves awkwardly but ultimately, as an adult swan, moves gracefully. In Dirty Dancing, Baby's dance movements begin as awkward and end as graceful.

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Another feature of the Ugly Duckling genre is the protagonist's feeling of being shunned. More than feeling just different from her parents, siblings and peers, the protagonist feels also rejected by them. This genre feature too appears in Dirty Dancing. 

After Baby's father learns that she used his money to pay for an illegal abortion, he tells her:

You're not the person I thought you were, Baby. I'm not sure who you are.

In the Ugly Duckling genre, the duckling's supposed father gradually recognizes that he is not the duckling's real father and therefore rejects the duckling. Baby feels that she is being rejected likewise by her father and even by her entire family.

I'm in this family too, and you can't keep giving me the silent treatment.

Baby's curly, unruly hair differs from the straight, coifured hair of her mother and sister. In one scene, sister Lisa begins to adjust Baby's hair but then immediately gives up.

I’ll do your hair. It could look pretty if ... You're prettier your way -- this way.

Sister trying to deal with Ugly Duckling's weird feathers

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Another feature of the Ugly Duckling genre is that the protagonist secludes herself for a while, pondering her different nature. This pondering results in her self-acceptance.

The Ugly Duckling pondering about her being different

For Buddhist essayist Vislk, such pondering is the key element of the Ugly Duckling genre. His essay titled The Ugly Duckling and the Art of Self-Transformation includes the following passage.

The ugly duckling, because of its odd looks, is often abused, neglected, disregarded and scorned by the society.

The ugly duckling, hurled by the salvo of abuses, decides to leave the society, to live in the forest.

In the forest, the duckling leads a lonely, meditative and beautiful life, without abuse or scorn or fear from the society.

After some years, the ugly duckling grows into a beautiful swan, much admired by its new companions.

The story ends with the transformation of the ugly duckling into a beautiful swan. ....

Spiritual context:

The ugly duckling paints a beautiful part of our nature which is contrary to the conventional identity that we have assumed ourselves or what the society has given us. Often that which is ugly turns out to be beautiful. This story shatters all conventions of the society. The story is one of human growth and maturity.

Men are often engrossed by their identities, in the form of looks, social strata etc., which the society labels on them. They are piled by the miseries and the sufferings, which the society puts on them. Men are akin to this ugly duckling, often cited for their ugliness and miserable looks.

Men often think that the social life is the only life that exists. But there is another side of the life, where the goals and ideals are contrary to the social conventions. As men enter the other side of this life, a great peace dawns on them, far removed from the chaos of the society. This is the life similar to that of the ugly duckling, a lonely, meditative and beautiful life, far removed from the abuses of the society.

Men, after a prolonged series of meditative life, transform themselves into something larger than life, just as the ugly duckling transforms itself into a beautiful swan. This is the transformation, which nothing can alter, which nothing can disturb, and which is permanent. Men then become majestic like the beautiful swan in the ugly duckling. Men experience great joy and peace-infinite with this transformation.

Men in their lives carry the so-called tag of social identity, which is far removed from the real identity. A man has to pause for a while to find out his real identity, to seek redemption, peace and joy.

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The Story Behind the Ugly Duckling

The Ugly Duckling (Character)

The Ugly Duckling, by Hans Christian Andersen

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I will conclude this series in Part 8.

Weirdos Wasting Our Time - 32

The Coming-of-Age Genre -- Part 6

This series began with Part 1.

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I will continue this series in Part 7.

The Coming-of-Age Genre -- Part 5

This series began with Part 1.

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During the movie Dirty Dancing, Baby Houseman made significant progress in becoming more adult.

In this article, I will point out three aspects of that progress.

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Inner Conflict About Femininity

At the beginning of the story, she imagined that she would find a romantic partner, a husband, who would be quite similar to her father.

On the other hand, Baby felt repulsed by her sister's and mother's behaviors that attracted a man like her father. Her mother and sister spent a lot of effort on developing their feminine appearance and attractiveness. They did not share Baby's drive to improve herself intellectually and morally.

This situation caused Baby to suffer from an inner conflict about femininity. Much of that inner conflict was caused by the models that she perceived within her own family. She perceived that her father was the masculine ideal and that her mother and older sister were the intellectually stunted kind of woman who won such a man's love. After all, her mother had won her father's love, and her sister quickly won the attention of Robbie Gould, a medical student.

Baby intended to spend the next four years in an all-women's college, which would delay her having to resolve that inner conflict. She would be less likely to become socially, romantically or sexually involved with a man.

However, during the Dirty Dancing story, a series of unplanned events caused Baby to spend a lot of time dancing with Johnny Castle, a man very different from her father. From dancing with him, she became sexually involved with him, and she got to know and appreciate his personal qualities quite well.

During her experience with Johnny, Baby developed her femininity naturally in accordance with her own personality. She no longer was limited by the models of her father, mother and older sister. She learned to be femininely attractive with her own independence and style.

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Becoming Honest with her Father

Baby was a "Daddy's girl" who had enjoyed being his favorite daughter and who wanted to maintain his favor by pleasing him.

However, Baby resorted to deceiving him about her conduct. She lied to him about the money she borrowed for the abortion. After he forbade her to associate further with Johnny, she hid from him her continuing and more intimate relationship with him.

She got caught in her deceptions, however, because of events that she did not foresee. Penny Johnson became very sick from her abortion and needed a doctor's treatment. Johnny was fired because of an accusation that he had stolen a hotel guest's wallet. These events exposed her deceptions to her father.

These exposures caused her to lose her father's favor. Her father became more attentive and trustful toward his older daughter Lisa and shunned Baby.

This situation caused Baby to confront her disappointed father. She admitted that she had deceived him, but she revealed that she had become alienated by his social and political attitudes. She became honest with her father in a new way.

Baby ceased being "Daddy's girl" and became his more adult daughter.

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Emotional Maturity from Dancing

Baby's experience of learning from professional dancer Johnny how to dance for a performance improved her emotional maturity.

When she first danced with him at the "dirty dancing" party in the employees' bunkhouse, she ended in a silly manner.

Several days later, when the suggestion was made that Baby might substitute for Penny at the Sheldrake Hotel performance, she protested that she could not even dance a simple merengue dance.

 As she learned to dance with Johnny, she would throw angry fits -- for example, kicking a railing -- when she practiced alone.

And she would giggle continually when Johnny touched her underarm.

Eventually, though, Baby mastered some dance skills well enough to perform before audiences. Furthermore, she even was able to develop a novel dance that she performed privately to delight Johnny.

The music and dancing that Baby experienced during her time with Johnny helped her to understand her feelings and to develop her emotional intelligence.

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I will continue this series in Part 6.

The Coming-of-Age Genre -- Part 4

This series began with Part 1.

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I will continue this series in Part 5.

The Coming-of-Age Genre -- Part 3

This series began with Part 1.

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In Part 1, I provided the Wikipedia list of genres, which included the Philosophical genre, which included the Coming-of-Age subgenre. This categorization of genres emphasizes the philosophical aspects of coming-of-age stories. A young person becoming an adult must develop his own philosophy of life.

That is not, however, the only categorization of genres. A different categorization is provided by Daniel Dercksen in his blog the writing studio. His article titled Genre and genre conventions lists the following Genre Plots, which include The Maturation Plot, which includes the coming-of-age story.

The Quest Plot

The Adventure Plot

The Pursuit Plot

The Rescue Plot

The Escape Plot

The Revenge Plot

The Riddle Plot

The Rivalry Plot

The Underdog Plot

The Temptation Plot

The Metamorphosis Plot

!!! The Maturation Plot !!!

The Love Plot

The Forbidden Love Plot

The Sacrifice Plot

The Discovery Plot

The Wretched Excess Plot

The Ascension and Descension Plot

Dercksen elaborates The Maturation Plot as follows:

The plot is about growing up; there are lessons to learn, and those lessons may be difficult, but at the end the character becomes (or will become) a better person for it. Whereas the transformation plot focuses on adults who are in the process of changing, the maturation plot focuses on children who are in the process of becoming adults.

In this coming-of-age-story the protagonist is usually a sympathetic young person whose goals are either confused or not yet quite formed.

Examples: The Killers, Great Expectations, Huckleberry Finn, Stand by Me.

From this categorization's perspective, the development of Baby Houseman's philosophy is not the key consideration. Rather, the development of Baby's physical, mental and emotional maturity is the key consideration. For example:

Baby begins to engage in adult sexual activities.

Baby begins to discuss issues with her father in a more adult manner.

Baby ends her romantic relationship with Johnny objectively and stoically.

Such changes are troublesome and consequential, but makes those changes decisively. She demonstrates that she is ready to move away from her parents to a college and to fit in with unfamiliar peers and teachers.

Baby gained enough self-confidence to present herself in a sexually attractive manner. Her romantic relationship with Johnny was exciting, but she was able to separate herself from him. Baby still loved her father, but she recognized his faults and dealt with them effectively. She matured significantly during that summer.

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In my previous post in this series, I included a video about the top ten cliches in coming-of-age movies. The #7 cliche is an ambiguous ending (beginning at 2:35 in the below video).

The movie Dirty Dancing has an ambiguous ending. The movie audience does not know whether the relationship between Baby Houseman and Johnny Castle will continue in any way. One possibility is that they will part ways, and an opposite possibility is that they will become a permanent couple.

Such an ambiguous ending is a fitting ending for a coming-of-age story like Dirty Dancing. She is barely entering her adulthood, and the movie tells a mere three weeks of that initial process. Her experiences during those three weeks were interesting and exciting, and they ended rather well. That's the story!

 We know that she lived at least until the year 1987, because that is when the movie was released and because she narrated the opening scene retrospectively. Much happened in her life during that interval from 1963 to 1987.  During that interval, she made many decisions that adjusted her adult life's course. She dealt with many decisions, obstacles and relationships.

The movie tells some initial steps in her young adult life. In a coming-of-age movie, the audience is supposed to focus its thoughts only on such a few steps. Usually a coming-of-age movie does not tell what happens afterwards.

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I will continue this series in Part 4.

The Coming-of-Age Genre -- Part 2

This series began with Part 1.

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I will continue this series in Part 3.

Miscellaneous Videos - 85

Below, click on the image and then click on the words Watch this video on Youtube.

The Coming-of-Age Genre -- Part 1

I categorize the movie Dirty Dancing as being in the genre of Coming-of-Age stories. This genre portrays a young person who is navigating a personal transition into adulthood.

Baby Houseman is 17 years old and is about to leave her family and to begin to live away, at a college. She is about to begin to look for her life's romantic partner, hoping that he will be similar to her father. She is about to live much more as an adult, being much more responsible for her decisions and for her life's path.

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Wikipedia provides the following list of genres, which includes the Philosophical genre.

Absurdist / Surreal / Whimsical

Action

Adventure

Comedy

Crime

Drama

Fantasy

Historical

Historical Fiction

Horror

Magical Realism

Mystery

Paranoid Fiction

!!! Philosophical !!!

Political

Romance

Saga

Satire

Science Fiction

Social

Speculative

Thriller

Urban

Western

The same Wikipedia article elaborates the Philosophical genre as follows:

Philosophical fiction is fiction in which a significant proportion of the work is devoted to a discussion of the sort of questions normally addressed in discursive philosophy. These might include the function and role of society, the purpose of life, ethics or morals, the role of art in human lives, and the role of experience or reason in the development of knowledge.

Philosophical fiction works would include the so-called novel of ideas, including a significant proportion of science fiction, utopian and dystopian fiction, and Bildungsroman. The modus operandi seems to be to use a normal story to simply explain difficult and dark parts of human life.

Bildungsroman: A coming-of-age novel presenting the psychological, moral and social shaping of the personality of a character, usually the protagonist. The genre arose during the German Enlightenment.

The Wikipedia article about the Bildungsroman includes the following passage.

A Bildungsroman relates the growing up or "coming of age" of a sensitive person who goes in search of answers to life's questions with the expectation that these will result in gaining experience of the world. .... In a Bildungsroman, the goal is maturity, and the protagonist achieves it gradually and with difficulty.

The genre often features a main conflict between the main character and society. Typically, the values of society are gradually accepted by the protagonist and he/she is ultimately accepted into society — the protagonist's mistakes and disappointments are over. In some works, the protagonist is able to reach out and help others after having achieved maturity. ...

There are many variations and subgenres of Bildungsroman that focus on the growth of an individual. An Entwicklungsroman ("development novel") is a story of general growth rather than self-cultivation. An Erziehungsroman ("education novel") focuses on training and formal schooling, while a Künstlerroman ("artist novel") is about the development of an artist and shows a growth of the self. ...

The term is also more loosely used to describe coming-of-age films and related works in other genres.

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The main philosophical thread that runs through the movie Dirty Dancing is Baby's conversations with her father about the importance of fairness in life. In the movie's first minutes, she is mocked for wanting "to save the world" and even wanting to send her dinner left-overs to poor people in Southeast Asia.

After Baby's father learns about Penny Johnson's abortion, he forbids Baby "to have anything to do with those people". She rejects and disobeys her father's order, because it is not fair. After all, he does not know any of "those people" and does not understand their situation.

The movie's philosophical climax is Baby's monologue, criticizing her father's faulty fairness.

You told me everyone was alike and deserved a fair break. But you meant everyone who is like you. You told me you wanted me to change the world, to make it better, but you meant by becoming a lawyer or an economist and marrying someone from Harvard.

The movie ends with Baby's father recognizing and admitting that he indeed had been unfair to Johnny Castle in regard to the abortion.

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Another philosophical thread about fairness involves Baby's perception of the relationship between Neil Kellerman and Johnny Castle. Neil is younger and less talented than Johnny, but Neil is Johnny's boss because Neil was born into a family fortune.

Although Johnny is older and more talented, his fear of losing his employment causes him to defer without objection to Neil's decisions -- even about dancing, where Johnny is the expert. Baby's effort to encourage Johnny to express his objections to Neil turns out to be more difficult than she expects. Baby learns that making people live more fairly is quite complicated and difficult.

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The movie includes also an encounter between Baby and Robbie Gould, where she angrily refuses to read a philosophical book that he recommends to her. See my previous article titled Robbie Gould's Philosophy.

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I will continue this series in Part 2.

Don't make me cry, Asshole!

A dialogue that was not included in the finished movie.

Penny Johnson
You just give me five minutes to pack, and I can go along with you.

Johnny Castle
No, I don't want you to lose the gig here.

Penny Johnson
Johnny, you're the one who says this place is like a dinosaur.

Look, Tito gave me a new record. We can learn a new tango routine.

Johnny Castle

Penny, you are the best. You are.

Penny Johnson
Don't make me cry, Asshole!

Johnny Castle
I will see you in a few weeks.

The above dialogue would have been followed immediately by the below dialogue:

Baby Houseman
I can't imagine being here without you even one day.

Johnny Castle
Just think, you have more time for horseshoes and croquet.

Maybe they'll saw you in seven pieces now.

Baby Houseman
I guess we surprised everybody.

Johnny Castle
I guess we did.

I'll never be sorry.

Baby Houseman
Neither will I.

Johnny Castle
I'll see you.

I speculate that the Penny-and-Johnny dialogue was supposed to inform the movie audience that Penny did not leave Kellerman's Mountain House along with Johnny. Some people in the movie audience might have assumed that Penny left along with Johnny, and then they might have been confused during the final scene, when Johnny returned alone and Penny was in the talent show's audience.

I speculate further that the Penny-and-Johnny dialogue itself caused many people in the movie audience to wonder why Johnny did not take Penny along with him. In general, the movie audience wonders about the puzzling relationship between Penny Johnson, and this dialogue is another occasion to wonder more.

Penny's remark Don't make me cry, Asshole causes me to wonder further about their relationship.

Also, the hotel's summer season had ended. What was Penny going to do at the hotel without Johnny, her dance partner, during the following two weeks?

In sum, the audience's focus was simplified when the Penny-and-Johnny dialogue was removed. By this point in the story, Penny has become an extraneous character. The remainder of the story is about Baby, her family and Johnny.

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The Penny-and-Johnny dialogue shows that Johnny's car was parked near the employees' cottages.

In the finished movie, the car seems to be parked on some remote road.