Sunday, October 7, 2018

Should Baby have a boyfriend who does not read? -- Part 1

In a previous article, titled Johnny's Alibi That He Was Alone and Reading, I explained how Johnny could deny the theft charge by saying that he was alone in his cabin reading even though there were no books in his cabin. I explained that Baby took one of her own books to his cabin and that he browsed through it while she was there.

Perhaps Johnny reads magazine articles. However, if he has no books in his cabin, then he reads much less than Baby, who has a pile of books in her hotel bedroom.

On the picture's left side is a pile of books by Baby's bed
In the long run, would Baby be happy with a non-reader as her life's partner?

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The Quora website has published an article titled Can "readers" be happy with "non-readers"?. The question was answered by "an inveterate reader" named Pamela B. Zohar. Her answer included the following passages.
.... We've been married 29 years come June, and put all our kids through college.

We sit in the living room and he plays online chess or watches crime shows and I read, and read, until he gets bored and starts to annoy me so I'll rub his feet or something.

Sometimes he will buy me a book, and I always thank him even though he has no idea what he should have gotten (he's the same with jewelry - let us just say that his taste and mine do not align well). I buy him gym memberships or karate videos. We both cook and garden.

I actually think that if we were both 'readers' we would NOT do as well as a couple. Our style is complementary: what I do well, he avoids, what he does well, I avoid. ....

He works with his hands and I keep our financial and medical records organized. He drives trucks and I 'drive' computers. He goes fishing and I research destinations and attractions and plan next year's vacation...I like museums, quaint bed and breakfast stays, and national parks, and he likes national parks and hotels with exercise equipment and free breakfast. We balance each other pretty well as a rule.
On the same webpage, another reader, John-Charles Hewitt, contributed an opposite answer, which included the following passages:
... Nonreaders are terrifying ciphers to me. I've no idea how to create a sketchy 'mental map' of a person without understanding what books (or other publications) they read.

I've limited capacity to relate to such people. I'm usually incapable of developing a deep relationship with them. I can't predict them. I can't modulate how I communicate with them because I've no reference points for what they value. I can't make them laugh easily. ...

I'm also arrogant to non-readers. It's a character flaw, perhaps, to condescend to people who don't read. It's not one that I can repair easily. I can try to be polite, but I'm not a good enough actor to conceal my contempt in such situations. The message I send -- which is unfair and cruel -- is "you're beneath my notice." ...
On the same webpage, another reader, "Anonymous", offers this compromise answer:
Yes if the following conditions are met:
The non-reader is a good listener.

The non-reader is not irritated by seeing his/ her partner preferring to indulge in reading than engaging in other tasks such as talking, traveling, doing house chores, etc.

The non-reader agrees to the belief that reading makes a person more wise and informed; in other words, the non-reader doesn't think that mere reading books cannot add any practical value to one's thinking.

The reader is not overlooking important and vital tasks in relationship while engaging in reading.

The reader is not pedantic.

The reader does not strictly believes that reading is the best thing to do at any point of time; in other words, he is able to appreciate the work of his/ her partner
On the same webpage, a "bookworm" named Lisa Daxer offers the following perspective:
I have friends who don’t like to read very much. The one thing they all have in common is that they all like to learn. That’s what’s important to me, not the medium they learn by.

I’ve known dyslexic people who hated reading but were very well-informed; they’d make do with audibooks and text-to-speech ebooks and they’re every bit the bookworm I am. Other people like lectures and documentaries or learn from the Internet even if they hardly ever crack open a book.

“Non-readers” don’t bother me in the least; it’s “non-learners” that I find a bit boring. They can be perfectly nice people, but if they aren’t into learning things, we really won’t have much in common. I’m so much of an information junkie that we’re just not very compatible; we’d bore each other to tears.
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The Barnes and Noble website has published an article by Ginni Chen titled 18 Unexpected Perks of Dating a Nonreader. I was amused most by the following perks.
1. More space for your growing book collection, because they don’t have any.

3. You can freely tell them the entire story of the book you’re reading, spoilers and all, because they probably aren’t going to read it.

5. You’re never obligated to read books they’ve recommended to you instead of the books you actually want to read.

8. They never stay up all night reading like you do, so they can be counted on to wake you up when you sleep through your alarm.

9. They never judge you for the books you haven’t read.

12.All your literary friends like them because they don’t engage in pretentious literary one-upmanship.

14. They won’t judge you for thinking that the movie version of the book was actually pretty good.

16. They do all the driving, so you can read at your leisure in the passenger seat.

17. They never mess up the order of the books on your shelves.

18. They’re willing to learn about literature from you.
Read all the perks.

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