Tuesday, May 1, 2018

What Lisa meant by "to go all the way with Robbie"

My article How far did Lisa and Robbie go sexually? received the following comment from a reader named Kathleen.
How do you know all of this about what Robbie and Lisa did sexually? Are these your assumptions?

She tells Baby in their bedroom that she decided to go all the way with Robbie, so I'm not sure why you assume she only intended 3rd base when she went and caught him with Vivian.
I appreciate Kathleen's comment, which causes me to rethink and elaborate my argument here.

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That article included this key passage.
.... toward the end of family vacation at the resort, Lisa confided to Baby:
I've decided tonight's the night with Robbie. He doesn't even know yet.
Nobody should think that Lisa intended to have sexual intercourse with Robbie. Rather, she intended merely to go to third base with him. "Tonight is the night" for third base -- is what she was thinking.

Lisa intended to surprise Robbie in his cabin. There they would talk and kiss. They would apologize to each other for their golf-course misunderstanding. She would allow him to remove her blouse and bra and to fondle and kiss her naked breasts. Then she would fondle his penis through his pants. Finally she would bare his penis and masturbate him to orgasm.

That would be enough for both of them. She did not really want him to paw her crotch, even through her panties, because she wanted to maintain her control of herself. She was afraid that if she became too aroused then she might allow Robbie to advance to home base.
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There were two relevant conversations between Lisa and Baby. The first conversation happened on the night of Friday, August 30.
Lisa Houseman
I've decided to go all the way with Robbie.

Baby Houseman
No, no, not with someone like him.

Lisa Houseman
Do you think if we came back for a ten-year anniversary, it would be free?

Baby Houseman
It's just wrong this way. It should be with someone -- with someone that you sort of love.

Lisa Houseman
Come on. You don't care about me. You wouldn't care if I humped the entire army, as long as we were on the right side of the Ho Chi Minh Trail. ...
That dialogue includes the following key points:
* Lisa's phrase "to go all the way"

* Lisa's expectation of a ten-year anniversary with Robbie.

* Baby's objection that the intended act should be done only with a loved person.

* Lisa's expression "humped"
The second conversation between Lisa and Baby happened on Saturday, August 31, when Lisa said:
I've decided tonight's the night with Robbie. ...
I am sure that most people watching the movie understand -- like Kathleen -- that Lisa intended to engage in sexual intercourse with Robbie.

In contrast, I understand that Lisa intended merely to give Robbie a hand job.

Different people watch the same movie and understand it differently.

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My own understanding of Lisa's intention is affected largely by my understanding of sexual mores in the USA in 1963. In that year I was 11 years old, and the subsequent sexual revolution happened during my teenage years. Therefore I have a personal memory of the sexual mores that prevailed before the sexual revolution.

Attitudes and behaviors changed dramatically after 1963, as illustrated by the following graph, which shows the actions and attitudes of 19-year-old women from 1900 to 2020.

Click on the graph to enlarge it.
Baby was 17 years old, so let's say that Lisa was 19 years old.

The graph indicates that in 1963, only about a third of 19-year-old women had experienced premarital sex. Furthermore, the graph indicates that only about a fifth of 19-year-old women had a positive attitude about premarital sex. In other words, only about half of the women who were having premarital sex had a positive attitude about doing so.

The higher the 19-year-old woman's social-economic status, the less premarital sex and positive attitude. The article that includes the above graph says:
In the US, the odds of a girl having premarital sex decline with family income. For instance, in the bottom decile 70% of girls between the ages of 15 and 19 have had premarital sex versus 47% in the top decile. Similarly, 68% of adolescent girls whose family income lies in the upper quartile would feel "very upset" if they got pregnant, compared to 46% of those whose family income is in the lower quartile.
Lisa Houseman was a 19-year-old woman in the top decile, which means that her own premarital sexual activities and attitudes were likely to be far less than average 19-year-old women.

The above graph shows how the actions and attitudes of 19-year-old women changed from 1963 to about 1983.

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The attitudes changed because contraception became much more effective, as illustrated in the following graph.

Click on the graph to enlarge it.
The green line shows the failure of contraception methods. After 1963, the failure rate fell sharply because of the availability of oral contraceptives. Nevertheless, the blue line shows that the rate of out-of-wedlock births to teenage girls rose sharply.

A big reason why that birth rate rose so dramatically was because teenage women who became pregnant were less likely to marry the men who made them pregnant.

These social changes were very troublesome, and they happened while I myself went from 11 years old to 31 years old.

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Here's another graph showing the change after 1963.


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In 1963, a 19-year-old woman -- the oldest daughter of a successful physician -- would be extremely reluctant to have premarital sexual intercourse during the very last days of a family vacation. She would be very afraid of:
* pregnancy

* venereal disease

* ruined reputation

* her parents' disapproval.
Such a 19-year-old woman eventually might begin having premarital sexual intercourse only after she became formally engaged to be married with the man. Until he proposed marriage to her, he would be getting only hand-jobs from her. That's just the way it was with upper-middle-class Jewish young women in 1963.

That's the way it was with both Lisa and Baby.

Keep in mind that Lisa certainly knew that Robbie had recently made Penny pregnant and had not married her or even helped pay for the abortion. Now Lisa is going to have sexual intercourse with Robbie during the last days of her family vacation?

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That's the cultural context for understanding Lisa's remarks about "going all the way" and "humping".

Yes, in 1963 the phrase "going all the way" usually meant engaging in sexual intercourse. However, the phrase is a slangy euphemism that is not defined precisely. In Lisa's cultural context, I easily interpret her intention to be "to go all the way" to give Robbie a hand-job.

Also, in 1963, the expression "humping" usually meant dry-humping, which meant that both partners kept their pelvises clothed while grinding against each other until orgasm -- usually only his orgasm.

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In understanding Lisa's intention, her words are an important consideration, but they are not necessarily decisive. Her words might be just ambiguous bravado.

Another important consideration is Lisa's place in her social and cultural environment. No matter what she says, a 19-year-old doctor's oldest daughter probably does not really intend to do some actions.

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